Liar, Liar
No one told me being Mommy was going to be the hardest, but most rewarding job in the world. Yesterday and today was one of those moments when you think....where did I go wrong?
Let's go back.....since we got back from our Vacation and Nico spent an entire 9 days with us by sleeping, eating and enjoying every minute but we were together all the time. It was a great 9 days, one that will never be forgotten but it has caused him to have problems when we leave him somewhere or he has to go to bed. The transition of our normal routine was about a week, he fought it but we thought everything was back to normal....or so we thought.
The last couple of weeks, Nico has not wanted to go to Pre-School he would make every excuse in the book from "I don't feel good" to "I am too tired" but we just told him he had to go and that we were not negotiating. My favorite line to him is "when you are 32, you can stay up or not go to school but since you are 4, Mommy and Daddy get to tell you what to do." Which ends up with him looking at me strange and walking away....probably thinking I am a crazy person!
The end of last week he didn't have to go to school because of snow days but as we talked about school again he started with the excuses....but what caught me off guard was when he said "Mommy I am scared to go to school, Matthew (name changed) hits me", and my first thought was Nico do you tell the teacher, why is hitting you, really he is hitting you? All those things go through a Mother's head and I said "Nico, Matthew is hitting you? Did you tell your teacher?" And he looked at me and said "No Mommy" and so we had that discussion of why he didn't tell her and if he is really hitting you, it's OK to tell her. This broke my heart to think that my child is being hit at school at the age of 4, but I was very cautious to think that he is being hurt and no one noticed.
So Daddy and I discussed it and we decided to talk to the teacher to see what was going on and explained to Nico that we were going to talk to his teacher. So today on the way to school Nico says, "Daddy, don't talk to my teacher, Matthew doesn't hit me." Now I am thinking, seriously Nico how could you lie about something like that after last week we had the discussion about lying when we asked you a question we knew the answer too. I know he is only four years old but he knows the difference between right and wrong, and we just had this conversation about lying.....how could you lie about someone hitting you Nico????So here I am mortified that we were going to even put the thought in Nico's teacher head that that child was hitting our son, when in all reality all he was trying to do was get out of school. I don't understand and I don't want to dwell on it, but how do you deal with a child who is only four years old and starting to lie about another child hitting them???
This is not one of my better Mommy moments and I feel like I have failed somehow and how do you sit down with a 4 year old and explain lying? We are honest people and we like to think we don't lie but I don't know where he could possibly have come up with such a big lie? His teacher stated that kids just go through these phases and I am sure they do but this is something that I want to nip now before it gets out of control.....
Any ideas on how to explain lying to a 4 year old?
