Happy 2016!!!

This blog was started after I became Nico's Mom, because that's who I was, who I am and will always be and it was a way to journal my thoughts and feelings about motherhood, life and just anything I cared to write about.

And then August 11, 2012 happened, and a piece of my heart was lost......I lost someone whom I was very close too and although I had no regrets I never got to say goodbye......I think when we lose someone we love, a piece of us goes with them a piece that stays with them until we meet again.  He wasn't my father, he wasn't my husband, he wasn't my child or close relative but he was Family someone who I truly connected with and who truly knew how to ground me when I was being stupid, and when that was gone it was like my life was turned upside down.

Now here we are almost 4 years later, and although I miss him and think of him every single day I am starting to come to terms he is no longer going to be here other than in spirit until the day we meet again, and I know that when we do he'll understand everything that has happened was out of my control.  We did the best we could in the circumstances we were dealt, and it's not fair that he's gone and definitely was to soon but I have to tell myself I can't change was God's will and I have to trust God's decision to take a Man whom my son cries for still and whom will never be able to teach him the life lessons he has taught me to make me somewhat of the person I am today....

It's time, time to try to move forward because what I know is there will be never a day that goes by that we don't think of him, or a day that will go by that I won't tear up when I hear his name or think of memories on what was, but it's time to start living life for the things I loved, and writing is one of those things and so much a part of who I am.  Our lives move forward, but the pain of missing him will never go away but time heals all wounds and that time has come.

So this year, I am not going to make resolutions to write, read or scrapbook more but I am going to try because these are things that make me, me.......different from others.   I have so much to live life for my wonderful family who I adore more than life itself, true friends who take me for me and have hung in their through all the crap and the ones that were lost......lost because they were never friends and I see more clearly now. 

I am truly thankful to all my Friends, Family and boys who have stuck around through it all.....you all know who you are!

Happy 2016 All, and I hope to be back here in the future...or not.....no commitment means I can't disappoint.